Strangers Will Make You Rich

Understanding the difference between a friend and a customer.

I turned 40 in September. A few days earlier my original VC firm agreed to give me back 100% of my company. A trusted advisor gave me the confidence to assume the CEO position myself. All good things. Until it’s 2AM in the morning and you’re staring at the ceiling wondering what the fuck did you get yourself into. There’s REAL money involved - real investors who believe in me - and an objective so lofty it’s hard to tell if the midnight butterflies are sheer excitement or impeding doom.

I never really thought about the story we tell ourselves. Our internal narrative. I’ve been pretty (maybe overly) confident most of my life. Middle school bullying for having the flattest chest in 7th grade gave me thick skin and a robust sense of humor. Even when I faced the first serious rejections of my life (neither NYU nor Columbia accepted me into their journalism programs), I remember only feeling slightly embarrassed for a day. It was their loss. I was still going to move to New York City. I still had my handsome boyfriend. My Dad said, “Focus on the positive,” so many times growing up that I’ve always erred on the side of optimism. Thanks, Dad!

A friend called me the other day to talk about her daughter. She started a fashion line and was struggling whether to continue because she hadn’t gained the critical mass she was hoping for. She’s young, smart, beautiful, and has an incredible network of young people with plenty of access to their parents’ money to spend. But they’re not spending on her brand. Maybe they bought a piece when the brand launched to demonstrate their support, but that’s not enough to keep an entire collection in production. Financials aside, it’s the questioning of herself that made me feel sorry for her. That self-loathing perspective that makes the lack of sales personal that is truly detrimental.

I’ve been building the sPiLLRx platform for almost 2 years. The original idea was to create a platform to crowd-source experiences for all prescription drugs, but you’ve got to start somewhere, and our MVP is strategically focused on GLP-1 medication. I’ve talked about GLP-1s ad nauseam and post relentlessly on my social media now that we’ve soft-launched. I still have friends that have NO idea what I do. I have friends that I’ve told what I do, that are on GLP-1 medications themselves, that I have asked to join sPiLLRx and to ask a question or share an interesting experience, that have still not done so. It would be very easy for me to be offended, to feel angry, to wonder why or if these people are really my friends after-all.

What I have finally begun to understand - and I believe so strongly that this basic tenant is crucial to mental health as a new business owner - is the following: Strangers will make you rich.

I’m using the word “rich” as a euphemism because that’s what the online inspirational quotes say but the word “rich” can be equated for whatever your idea of success looks like. One year ago, if you asked me what my goal was, I would have said to have 100,000 active users of sPiLLRx by the end of the year. One of the most brilliant consumer experts, Matt Britton, laughed when I told him of my aspirations. I thought thinking big was SO critical - having giant, lofty goals and big numbers to impress investors - but I was wrong. Britton explained to me that you don’t want the customer that is going to buy one dress or post one comment, you want the “super users.” The individuals who truly become invested in your brand or your product because you’re creating something they NEED. For sPiLLRx, it’s people who live and breathe their GLP-1 journey and find joy, acceptance and validation in sharing and connecting with other GLP-1 patients.

After this conversation, my goal changed. Now, I was focused on finding 100 super users. The goal seemed small, but now I understood that you can’t build a brand off the backs of friends who are just doing you a favor. My 24-year-old self would not have understood this. My 24-year-old self would have begun to resent my friends who didn’t wear my clothes and re-post my IG stories and I ultimately would have used that resentment to feed my excuse for why the business failed.

Thank g-d I’m not 24. I understand the enormity of the story we tell ourselves - and how it can change the course of our lives. I can’t even count how many investor pitches I’ve given at this point. How many NOs I’ve heard - you need a technical co-founder, you can’t have a dash in your URL, big pharma will shut you down… I’ve begun to like the NOs. Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE more investors, but I try to find a lesson in each NO; make small, incremental changes, and move on. The right investor will see the value in our mission: sPiLLRx is sending a message to the world that it’s time we start building safer online communities, especially communities that discuss sensitive topics.

Whereas challenges in the past may have become excuses for quitting, challenges today are sheer motivation to persevere. Those sleepless nights when user acquisition is slow-going and I’m petrified to let everyone down still exist but now I remind myself that fear and excitement are the same emotion - it’s just a matter of perspective. Do we choose to build ourselves up in the wake up adversity or use our struggles as a way out?

I like to believe that I am on the precipice of greatness. The fear and difficulty of growing the community has become the fuel to mitigate every obstacle. Now my goal is to have 1000 active users on sPiLLRx by the end of the year. Now let’s go find those fucking strangers!